you got stuck and couldnt leave ha, it was hard for you to breathe ha

Current mood:hungry

thats revised lyrics from juvenile's clever title, huh. wow! its been a really long time since i've written anything at all. my life has changed quite a bit out here in las vegas. i'll start with how things are going. the job is okay. the money is fantastic in comparison to what i made at trs, but i dont love the work i'm doing. it is nice to have some things i want. its nice to have the internet at home, its nice to have an xbox live account, and its nice to eat whatever i want(its good going down, but starting to show in the ol' midsection.) the reason i was inspired to write tonight is because i called my little brother to see how he was doing and he told me he ran into an old friend of mine. the friend recalled the last time he had spoken to me and it was a phone call where i asked for someone else and didn't realize who i had called and thought i had the wrong number and hung up. i'm going on 21 months sober and still have people who remember the old me. good old me, f'd up all the time and drinking and taking drugs with the short term goal of reaching oblivion and the long term of death, hopefully. that was then and this is now. i'm still happy here in vegas, but the people here suck. the south is hands down, bar none, the place to be. i had run off 30+ friends and made countless new ones upon the restoration of my life, all of them are far better than the best ones i have found here. dont get me wrong, i'm sure there are some cool cats here, but i haven't found any i really want to hang with. i'd take a drunken me over any of the.....nevermind. i wouldn't want a drunk me around. he'd be too likely to steal something or to get me in some sort of trouble and i dont feel like babysitting tonight. now, the title of this blog. i named it so because of what happened to me a week ago. as if my grammy dying wasn't crappy enough, when i got back to las vegas on the 3rd day back i ran to the coffee shop and when i got back someone was in my living room. now, i didn't know the guy and he certainly didn't belong here-or did he? i'll get back to that in just a second. as we left for the coffee shop i saw a shady dude walking down our street, i even said out loud,"that is a shady looking dude" i did the best i could not to judge the guy and i certainly never expected to find him in the living room upon my arrival back home. nevertheless, there he was. so we get home and i walk ahead of tiffany to the front door and i hear someone inside. well here comes tiff all loud and stuff talking about whatever and i shushed her and told her that someone was inside the house. she dismissed it and said it was the cats or the tv. i wanted to believe her, but my instincts said otherwise. so i get the keys from her and bust through the front door and there in the center of the living room is the shady guy with my xbox controllers in his hands. i sprung into action just as any superhero wannabe would and grabbed the culprit and slapped on a modified rear naked choke hold. for those of you who dont know what that is its when you are behind someone with your right arm under their throat and the right hand locked around the left bicep and the left hand tucked behind the neck of the chokee, if you will...squeezing the windpipe until they pass out. in my case, i didnt have a fantastic hold on him and he kept pulling my left hand off of the back of his head, keeping me from really locking it in. he then put his feet up on the kitchen counter and tried to slam me into the wall or something. when he did this he let go of my arms allowing me to lock it in. after that it was about 10 seconds til he murmered in a gargled voice,"i cant breathe!" i told him if he'd shut his mouth and relax he might breathe better. 30 seconds later he stopped moving completely, out cold or playing dead i'm not 100% sure. i then wrapped my legs around his motionless body and loosened the choke so i wouldn't kill him. the cops showed up 5-10 minutes later and took the guy to jail. he had already bagged up my ps3, wii, xbox, laptop, checkbooks, etc. he had been arrested 1 month earlier for 3 houses across town. when i held him and waited for the cops, he came to and begged me to let him go. he had all these things at his house that he could give me if i just let him go. i am all too familiar with this stuff. i told the guy that i was just like him. i was doing those same things and unless something bad happened to me, i wouldn't have stopped. maybe he heard some of that, maybe not. so now this is the part where i explain what i meant earlier when i insinuated that he may have 'belonged' in my living room. you know when i told my mom this story the 1st thing she said was,"thats the sort of thing that happened to you when you were doing drugs." now, i could get upset about that statement, but i dont cause i understand it. i have conditioned my mother to think when something chaotic happens in my life, its got to do with me and primarily with my drug addiction. it actually makes more sense, in my mothers experience, if i were on drugs. through her last 15 years experience with me, it is way more likely that i am on crack and pills and one of my 'druggy-buddys' broke in to take my stuff, than the story i just told you where i saved the day, so to speak. now, i look at it this way. God put this guy in my house and brought me home in time to find him there. he also allowed for me to do this safely and without great financial loss. we had to buy an alarm and a new window, but aside from that all i got from the deal was this story. so this guy could've gone into any house in the world on any day at any time. it happened in my house when it did. this happened to a former dope addict who is now sober and doing well. this was more than likely a drug addict who broke in. he came in and got choked out, then went to jail. there are 1000's of scenarios that are far worse that could've happened. this guy can go into someone elses home, get shot, and die or he could go in someones house and find a gun, now what? or he can go in somewhere and get away to keep doing these types of things. none of these situations took place. things happened exactly the way ther were supposed to. they say there are no coincidences, only god instances. well, maybe on this day, God intervened in this man's life. maybe, and this is what i believe, maybe God gave him to me to safely put this guy into a situation where he can stop and look at his life and hopefully change some things. who knows why these things happen. it just doesn't always have to be about me is all. that was long winded i know and i hope that i was able to explain it and have it register the way i want it to. i'm rusty. i love and miss you all. i miss the south a whole lot. you people rule and i love you all so much. if the last time you recall talking to me is some dumb story about me not recognizing you or not being able to speak, i encourage you to give me an opportunity to change that last memory. give me a chance to show you the new me. the 2 years sober me. i'm not the guy you remember and you don't have to be worried about what i'll do in front of your family, i promise. good night world. i miss you louisiana. especially you b.r. go tigers! god i miss lsu football. peace.