there is no other pill to take, so swallow the one that makes you ill

the nina, the pinta, the santa maria. i am the noose and the rapist the hills overseer. rage's sleep now in the fire. i'm bout to go hit the weights. i am on day 9 of my stupid 2000-2500 calorie a day diet. i guess it went well. i think, realistically, i'm at about 11% body fat now. thats down from like 13 or 14 in like a week. crazy. i am craving a day of ben and jerry's. speaking of ben and jerry's, my co-worker, rick, knew i was on this diet for 10 days and brought me some cinnamon bun b&j, what a dick. i had a bite and a bite of king cake and still lost about 10 lbs this week. i went from 194 to 186 as of yesterday. i should be about 185 this morning and that was the goal for sunday, then i should blow right back up to about 190 in a day or two. enough about all that stuff. i got a call from my supposedly italian, but very mexican friend nick this week. nicky was enthralled that his name was mentioned in 3 straight blog posts, well make it 4 little nicky, cause you are the frickin man son. hey, when you get that franchise, i think you should change some things. subtle changes. for instance......wait up, for those who don't know my friend nicky has aspirations of world domination. his plan is well thought out. it's intricacy is mesmerizing and spellbinding, if you're not hip to the ways of nicky. you can try to figure it out for days and still be just as befuddled as day one. nicky's plan begins with franchising a local chicken finger place called raising canes. i would tell you what comes next, but i'm not sure. what i do know is that he is on his way. once the franchise is in pocket, there's no telling what his next move will be. my guess, something like enron. we'll see. i'll do some more investigating this week and get back to you on it. back to what i was saying. i think you should make some small changes such as, you should change the menu to spanish, have a taco option, perhaps have a pharmacia in the store, offer tequila specials and carry corona and dos equis. thats just a few of my ideas. if you want some more, i got em. anyways. my vacation starts today. i am going nowhere, maybe n.o. to see my cousins and interrogate them about this weeks debauch. they met bill clinton at my uncles restaurant. i need to find the clothes they wore and black light them for semen. next i'll check thier toothbrushes and pillowcases. i suspect i'll find a motherload of evidence if i look hard enough. later peoples