its been a while

Current mood:crazy

it has been a really long time since i've been with a woman. 1 year to be exact. i dont even know women who go that long without trying to get some. hell, i dont know anybody, not even the ugly people i know..well there was this 1 guy who was a virgin 'til he was 27, but i'm willing to bet he got laid this month too. so lets see, 11 months without a drink or drug and 12 months since, you know. how do think i'm feeling? its like that josh hartnett movie 40 days and 40 nights or whatever it was except with the volume cranked. josh hartnett, however, in that movie was being cornered in the office at work by two girls at a time and stuff. that hasn't been the case for me, but i am slowly starting to lose control. my instincts are growing in strength, they have been supressed for a while.......even the girl who cut my hair yesterday gave me some advice about what to do...i dont know if i should do what she said though. women are different. whatever a woman did to me, it doesnt even matter what the infraction, if she straddled me and took her shirt off, problem solved. i wish it was that easy for us, i dont ever remember straddling anyone, taking my shirt off, and then getting what i wanted, unless i was in search of a job as the marlboro man, then okay. maybe next time i see her ill wear nothing but my brown boots and a white thong with the front cut out. yep, i'll do that, put on some p-popping jock jams, like the tootsie roll. thats it! yeah, i got it. next time she comes over i'll paint my weenis brown and wear the thong with the work boots and prepare some n'sync/you got served dance routine that should get her in the mood, right? by the way, weenis is the term used for the skin on the elbow, you dont believe me look it up. i'll pinch my weenis and pull it to the left to the left, to the right to the right, now slide baby slide...c'mon c'mon...oh yes! cotton candy, sweet as gold, let me see "your" tootsie roll. yep, its official i am off the reservation, i am crazy as hell right now. you stay sober for a year and celebant see how you feel. even preists get tanked all the time.....you know what else they do too...sorry, bad joke....so if you are reading this and you want to see my crank dat tootsie roll, weenis in hand, let me know.i may let you put my weenis in your mouth. ladies, if there is anything you need to apologize to me for, see me after class for the 2 steps to forgiveness study. bring yourself, shirts are optional. hahahhaha sorry if the weenis thing freaks you out, its a fun word