i wanna be free to know the things i do are right

I wanna be free, just me. Lionel Richie, easy. So, here i am, baton rouge. landscaping. it sucks but whatever. i found a woman ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuck. stupid shit. f it. i'll write later about the woman i love. peace

Sanity kills, so I live the crazy life

Another day, roaming as a gypsy. It's not an easy way to live without a place to live, but fortunately, the lord has blessed me in ways that can only be explained as....scratch that, it's a blessing and a curse. That was like 12 run-ons. Yeah, fate has stacked several decks in my favor, but for all that has been stacked my way, I battle as many.
This week, Mania. Rock vs Cena, match of a lifetime. My boy, the rock not only gets the w, but pledges to be the next wwe champ. Which means there's at least one more match in his future. This is exciting news for a kid like me.
I watched the match at my childhood friend, Emile's house. He just lost twin boys in a heartbreaking tragic premature birthing. It sucks. However, in what I've seen, from the time I spent there, tragedy has given him a new lease on life. A new way of looking at things. A new way of looking at me. He saw me and said, " man, we thought we'd bury you 6 years ago. Don't let me bury you at 30, I'll bury you at 60, when you're ready to die.
Anyway, this blog is a mess because i did it in 2 different places at different times. to my loyal readers, i promise to be more dilligent. i've been without the web for quite some time, but i'm back now. so, in closing. it was awesome to see my friend and to see how well he is. amazing time.
I started a landscape job this week as an assistant to my friend carruth, the work is hard but it feels amazing to get off at the end of the day after busting it all day under gods hot sun, which will be increasingly hotter as the weeks keep coming with summer on their coat tails. also, reading the rum diary by hunter s. its a good book so far. trying to learn how to hone my skills at this writing thing.
again, sorry for the messy blog, its not the norm, but i'm back up and running so stay tuned. great things on the horizon. team bring it strong. have a good weekend.

all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away

again. shimmer by fuel. had a long week this week. found out my cat was infested with fleas, my poor baby. luckily i have a family willing to take care of her while i deal with the situation i'm in. got an email from all the parties i owe money to, thats always fun. also, the one place that has actually felt warm and welcoming to me over the past month had a slight ripple. i feel as though i'm an excellent judge of one's likes, dislikes, interest, and can often find a common frame of reference. black, white, indian, native american, body builders, musicians, 12 year olds and 60 year olds. i've always been very good at reading people and finding that common ground, then 'exploiting' it, not sure if thats the word i want to use. its not done to harm anyone, more to entertain them or myself with conversations where we both are familiar with the content. so, this one individual didn't follow suit. it normally wouldn't bother me, but i really wanted this guy to be a friend. i kind of need him to be. its imperative for my comfort and everyone's happiness. which is my personal goal, to all be happy and comfortable, by any means necessary. so, after the long week, i had to work saturday night, had some friends meet me there, i did okay that night, made a little money, then won a few bucks on the poker machine. thats always nice. i wake up sunday and someone suggested a sunday-funday, she didnt have to do much convincing, i was down. there's nothing really to do in LaPlace, so lets hit the quarter we thought. we got up, dressed, picked up the items necessary for travel to the quarter. well, except for an inspection sticker which is 2 months overdue. that and a license thats been expired since december 18th. oh well. lets ride. we stopped at the family business and grabbed a bloody mary and a captain and sprite for the ride, totally legal, i swear. we just held them for the ride, we didnt drink them. what do you think we are delinquents? i spend the 20 dollars there and fill up the busted ass silver xle camry with gas for the first time in a while. 50 dollars. ugh. anyways, we were on our way. if i remember right we started with some stevie wonder, then a little outkast, sisqo, and as we arrived to the french quarter 'cherub rock' came on as we tried, desperately to find a parking spot, a free one. no luck. we paid 20 dollars to park in a lot, that was shitty, but oh well. first stop, the tropical isle for a hand grenade, why not? it was good. seemed warm, but there was ice, so I'm not sure how that happens. we made a brief stop at my cousin robby's place en route to the city and his wife amy was there also. they are two of my favorite people to hang with. we've been to a few tiger games together, always a good time. digression, i know. back to the quarter. so, i just enjoyed my hand grenade and we were on our way. we stopped at several other places, razoos, cats, blacksmith shop, chart room, amongst several shops. we met up with my friend randy, who i've only met once, but he's a good guy. so, my girlfriend, randy, and i are marching throughout the quarter when i spotted an music store. i havent purchased a cd or any media in quite some time due to the piracy that was available to 'someone i know'. they had the jimi hendrix album 'electricladyland' on vinyl. yep, i'm gonna need that. I purchased the record and we were back on the prowl. there were several artist's paintings on the fence somewhere in the quarter, they were asking entirely too much for them, so i passed. then another artist was actually sketching the fence near where he was set up. i complimented his work and told him to have a nice day. i moved about the crowd that was growing pretty fast. they have
some shouting contest, 25 participants only, and you have to scream some word, not sure i know what it was though. i saw the word, just dont recall. it wasnt that important to store in the old memory bank. so, randy was the lucky 25th contestant, we got there just in time. being the super friendly new orleanian, randy is, he gave his spot to a lady from out of town. i thought to myself,"sweet! not only was that polite, but now i dont have to sit through this entire contest." I had to go to the bathroom pretty bad at this point, the corner bar had a public restroom, not too dirty. this is surprising in the city. most bathrooms in the quarter are capital G-ross, gross. anyhow, on my walk to the restroom, i was passing by that same artist i had complimented several minutes earlier, he was watching the contest, facing away from the sketch he had completed. His steel folding chair was a good 2 and a half feet from the easel he was drawing on earlier. I simply stepped on and over his chair to cut through the crowd, which was still growing for this contest. this guy turns to me and says,"Now thats just stupid!" I thought,"really?" this old crappy artist that i complimented earlier to try to make his day was now gonna pop off at the mouth. not to this guy. I say to him inquisitively,"what was that?" He says,"You heard me, thats stupid! you cant just walk around!?!" to which i responded in the most appropriate fashion i could. "Sir, i'm sorry. I didnt really wanna cut through this crowd and me stepping over your chair was harmless. With all due respect, if you ever call me stupid again, I'll slap the taste of dick so far out of your mouth, you'll need to pack up your shitty doodles and go looking for three days." he replies,"just like a LSU fan", I cut him off there, "no sir, just like LSU's last quarterback and not afraid to kick you in the face after i take you down." I turned to the people in the vacinity, and said, "dont buy any of this guys crap, he's a real dick and he cant draw better than a 8 year old." then i was off to the bathroom, finally. relief. then back to meet the two others, still watching the contest, making sure to pass by that same artist. I went around the easel as he requested earlier, i'm not disrespectful. I listened to him and respected his space, but had to be sure to tell any new onlookers near him, not to buy any of his crap. its the only thing i could do. next, we head off from the contest and hit another record store where i was able to pick up Bob Marley "Legend" and Jimi's "Axis:Bold as Love". Two of my favorite albums of all time. I think its those two, Stevie Wonder's "Songs in the key of life", and Alice in Chains "unplugged" and "Jar of Flies". So, I dont have a record player, but I felt I should buy them. We made the block and put the vinyl in my trunk and made our way to another bar where they had a mechanical bull. Just FYI, fellas and ladies. The guys who control the thing are in total control of how foolish or sexy they make you look. I mean, this high school dropout couldnt make me look bad, but he damn sure made sure i fell off of the damn bull on the fly. I rode three times for a collective 27 seconds. Meanwhile, the girls who looked good climb aboard, with ass-istance, if you smell what i'm cooking. The bull mysteriously no longer bucks nearly as hard and cant move as fast and as if that wasnt bad enough, there's a black gentleman with a can of oxygen, spraying the girls hair, shirts, skirts, etc. as they gently take the 4 minute ride. Reminiscent of a see-saw. It was dumb. that pretty much wrapped up our journey to the quarter, Randy went on his way and as Lilly and I turned to leave, I ran into my old friend Tootie. So, I guess we can have one more drink with them. We sat on the back patio at Pat O'Briens, home of the famous New Orleans drink, the hurricane. I had a redbull, I was driving and kind of tired, sure there was vodka in there as well. come on. its the french quarter. so, we enjoyed our beverage and said our good-bye's to my old friends Tootie and the city of New Orleans. Pretty successful day. No one got out of control, no one went to jail, and we left at 730. On our way back in, we stopped at the bar where my brother was working in LaPlace and said hello, always great to see him. Then it was off to my good buddy Steve's place to crash for the night. Great day. It was no St. Patty's day, but it was fun. We all had a blast. Seems that every time Lilly and I hang out, we have a good time. Whether its out in Baton Rouge, the grocery store, the car rides with me cranking the volume to the max and singing my heart out, cooking together, sitting in the room talking, with the TV off, or, get this, watching the rock do his thing on raw. We have plans to watch Wrestle Mania on April 1, praying Cena knows his role. The great one will put the boots to his candy ass. I hope. My prediction, Rock wins in a battle, then raises Cena's arm to try to get the fans to respect him. Fans of the Rock tend to do anything else he wants us to do. If you dont get it, its a 'team bring it' thing. you should check out Raw tonight at 8 and see the rock do what he does best, lay the smackdown, with words anyways, on Cena's candyass. til next time. tell the one's you care about that you love them, we may not see tomorrow. live for the moment. leave the past behind and dont plan a future you're not guaranteed. later. thanks for reading. oh, one more thing. that paper i wrote for a junior in college on concepts introduced as i wrote his paper, i got a B. Technically, I'm a college freshman. happy monday people.

well. i'm looking out my belly button window and i see a whole lotta frowns

and i'm wonderin' if they want me around. Jimi's 'belly button window'. Excellent, bluesy track by one of my favorite guitarists and musicians to ever walk god's green earth. his best work, in my opinion, is the axis:bold as love album. I love me some Hendrix. So, this weekend was St Pattys day. In all my years in Baton Rouge, I never went to one of these parades. I guess, growing up in the New Orleans area, I was kind of over the whole catching beads, 'throw me something, mister' mumbo jumbo. However, I was invited by a very wonderful young lady that is one of the most selfless, fun loving people I've ever met. I'm usually not the type to get into shit really, you know, physical altercations. It does seem that over the last few weeks, maybe cause the rock's back in wrestling, I've been a little testy. Perhaps, its the frequency of my outings more than it is me. The longer people stay out, especially drinking, they grow a pair. I wont go into detail, because it is sort of embarrassing that I would hit someone with some "Know your role and shut your mouth before I whip your candyass all over this parking lot" type of stuff. It's what happens, though, when you're out late at night and guys disrespect you. I'm not saying I condone physicality, but there are times when a man has to take a stand. "You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything." On a lighter note, we had a fantastic time. I've never allowed so many pictures to be taken of me without paying or being payed. The day started normal. The 745am ride picked us up. We decided to do the responsible thing and ride with a couple that didn't 'live life full throttle'. the guy that was riding shotgun, was throwing up from drinking the night before. I imagine he doesnt really go hard to often. Anyways, we arrive at the house where we'll watch the parade. The guy was very hospitable, they had some Ketel and red bulls, cant go wrong there. They even had a band there. I didn't pay to close attention to the band, I was too busy making conversation with two guys I had just met. Me and this guy Carlton discussed music, writing, life, etc. I taught a few people the meaning of Jackson Browne's 'Rosie', but I digress. So, the parade passes, maybe 20 floats, caught beads for the kids in front of us and before we knew it, part one of the day was over. From what I've been told I made a pretty good impression on the folks I met there. That's cool. Always nice to meet good people and make new connections and good impressions. We then rode down Perkins Rd. where they have several bars. The streets were packed. People everywhere, college students all the way to, apparently 40 year olds. There was some 260 pound girl face down on a table passed out, other people trying to start fights, random old guys hitting on girlfriends and wives in front of their respective counterparts. Good times. We made it out that night to dinner with an old friend of mine and another guy I met that day, it was a really good day. I also managed to write a friends paper for his speech class in 20 minutes on topics I was introduced to as I wrote, the paper was based on moneyball. We find out Wednesday if my boy JuJu passed. I felt it was probably a c+ paper, maybe a b. I'm no journalist by college degree standards, but I am really good at writing things that people are usually interested in or they buy into. a.k.a. I'm a good story teller, sometimes and a fantastic bullshitter always. We made it home in one piece, woke up around 5 and had a convo about the day, while another friend was asleep on the floor of the bedroom I was in. I think her thoughts upon awakening summed up the measure of the good time we had the day before. She hears me and my special lady friend talking, wakes up, and the only thing she could muster was shouting the word,"fuck!" haha. Awesome. I know this story is all over the place. I keep getting distracted, but just felt like writing. There are so many details and stories that took place throughout the day that I'd have to write a short story to scratch the surface. A special shout out to all my new friends and not so new ones, Julian, Steve, TJ, Erin, Carlton, Lilly, Shane, Steph, Greg, Chip, and anyone I may have forgotten, you guys are all awesome. I wouldn't change anything in my life right now. Thank everyone who loves me and thank you all for allowing me to love you all, especially you, Erin, you are the shit. I've never really had many girl friends, that is friends that are girls, but this chick is cool as a fan. Hope this doesn't come off as too incoherent. I am trying to incorporate some capitalization into these blogs. It's an effort to not do everything in a bare minimum style. 'Its the little things that make the big picture.' Anyways, I'll close by quoting the rock, "24yrs old. Cut from the Canadian Football League. Exactly $7 dollars in my pocket. U can achieve anything. #Believe" Dream big, be great, and always bring it. 'there is no substitute for hard work' Good luck to all of you, please recommend this blog page to your friends, if you read it, please follow it if you have a google account. I really appreciate any comments, criticism, or anything of the like. I am passionate about entertaining people. Its what I do, it's who I am, and its what I love. Whether this form of entertainment, writing, is my avenue, only time will tell. I do know that I will achieve greatness and anyone who helps me along the way will not be forgotten. I love you all. Remember, 'love's in need of love today, don't delay, send yours in right away' Stevie Wonder. Seriously, live for the moment, we aren't promised tomorrow or even tonight, so call your mom, dad, whomever it is that you love, and let them know. It will be the brightest part of their day and maybe even yours. Miss you Brandon and my sweet little mollie moo-moo, gone way to soon. You guys are gone, but never forgotten. As I wrote that, I got goose bumps, to me, that means you guys heard me and responded. Love always. Til next time, stand tall in the face of adversity and make it your bitch.

yet i fight this battle all alone, no one to cry to, no place to go home

thats the brilliant, talented, and very deceased legend, layne staley. the real legends all must die. me all must i guess, but it seems, like layne says,"if i cant be my own, i'd feel better dead" and so he is. we manifest what we believe in one way or another i suppose. layne's music speaks to me so clearly. i understand that loniless and pain he speaks of, the helpless, hopeless, cry when i see my reflection type stuff. i've been there. its so soulful and when you really capture those feelings or emotions in lyrics and you sing them with that much feeling, you reach people. what an amazing artist he was. mitch hedberg, another brilliant entertainer gone too soon. that guy was so funny. if you dont know his stuff, google him. he's hilarious. so, 15 days ago, i started down a new path with a new passenger, things have been amazing. to experience life with another human being who treats you like a prince and to be able to return the favor is a great feeling. its been so long since i've trusted and cared for someone. the last trainwreck, which i was manipulated into believing was all my fault cause 'i'm such a piece of shit' and a 'loser' and all that hot garbage. wow, i bought it. i guess i'm comfortable in a place of sadness and sorrow, but i'm finding out is that i'm extremely comfortable being extremely happy in the life of someone who loves my sense of humor, personality, and, of course, these stunning good looks ;). its nice to get all the compliments i never get. not to sound cocky or conceited but i understand that a good amount of people think i'm handsome, whatever. dont get me wrong, i like that people feel this way, but the compliments i really appreciate are the ones that i bring, not that god didnt give me all these gifts, but good looking takes zero work. the jokes, the 'life of the party' personality. these are things i like to hear. i remember a day when i was that guy and it seems, now that i've shut the door on the negative part of my life and will never, and the rock means, ever go back into an abusive situation like that again. which brings me to my next topic. i am aware that i'm all over the place right now, but its all good. just bored and felt i should write instead of sit around. wrestlemania is in about 3 and a half weeks and i can not wait to see my boy do his thing one more time on the grandest stage in my favorite 'sport'. i'm so glad the rock is back and i know that sounds ridiculous, but some of the best days of my life were spent watching these guys do their thing on mondays, thursdays, and sundays. i'm guessing the reason my little brother and i decided to do it ourselves is because the one guys night that i recall from my childhood was dad taking us to see the american dream dusty rhodes vs the macho man randy savage. amazing that i can remember that. either way john and I did the damn thing. we've both been trained and made money doing the thing that i love most in this world. i hope to do it again. i gotta get on the iron first though. anyway, happy thursday everyone. sorry for the rambling. i love you all. check out these ads on here, they have some pretty good schools and things of that nature. just saying, if one of them interest you, check it out. its not a virus. you have my word. thanks ad sponsors for your support, same goes to you family and friends. peace.

one good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain

wow, seems like its been forever and i guess its been over 2 weeks. this is more of a celebratory blog event. just happy to have the internet working over here. this feels so good to be able to write and see my thoughts in black and white and know that they'll be available for the masses. i was commended for courage and such this week by a cousin, and i thanked him. however, i read somewhere that its only through honesty that we are able to acheive growth, so by putting this out there, i am rewarded with a sense of accountability. sure, i dont have to tell you everything and i dont, but you know a lot of things about me if you read this or if you're a close friend, way more than the aquaintances i keep. big night, i guess. my cousin is getting married and i'm bringing a new friend, should be exciting. i'm looking forward to and hope to actually hang out with my brother afterwards and it would be the first ever two-brother prospective blog experience which i've been so ready to start up. if you dont know, its a blog page i started for he and i. storiesbybrothers.blogspot.com, we basically share stories from our lives to give you some insight as to who you're talking to, then in some instances, maybe tonight, we will attend the same event and share seperate accounts of said event from our own eyes. its an interesting concept that occured to me several weeks ago and i think it will be fun, entertaining, and possibly lucrative. if nothing else, therapeutic opportunity to write as a tandem. ah. feels good to be back. i'm really happy with the way things have been the last 2 weeks. well, aside from that guy i had to throw out of the bar for flinging three quarters at me and saying i would have gotten more if i had 'done my fucking job'. hmm, okay. so, you have drinks and your change and you're on your way out,  just leave. apparently, i did do my job, which i'm really good at, and if you weren't satisfied you could have just walked your candyass out of my family's establishment and been done, but you thought you were going to show your teeth and disrespect me in my house, no sir. i'm sorry. as a matter of fact, i'm so sorry that you can take this 75 cents back, except they're coming cc sabathia style, then he turned and had a problem with the returning of the change, so i had to come around the bar and force him out. crazy stuff. dont ever recall being that angry at someone. i told him not to ever stop in there again, he said he'd be back, i'd love to see him pull that stunt with my little brother, he thought i came at him with some hostility, shit! little bro is like a pack of black cats, i'm a f'ing sparkler. i'm the always calm laid back one, my brother once said, and i quote, "I'll wreck my fucking truck to prove a point" and he has. he's got a low tolerance for knuckle headedness. anyways. its nice to be back. good to finally put something on paper. but for now, i'll say its 'closing time' for todays rambling. so i'll close with the 'closing time' story. i went to buffalo wild wings tuesday with my new friend and we sat next to a gentleman with a newspaper, it wasnt a wallstreet journal, but you know the types that read the paper at the bar, this was a mature, probably well established gentleman. anyways, i set there right beside him, he was on the right, my friend on the left and i was freezing. what is one to do at a time like this? i mean, i came for wings and was uncomfortably cold. i did the only thing any self respecting man in my position could do. i broke into song, "frozen time, time for you to go out and get your jacket to stay warm." not like a low volume tune, it rang out. "frozen time, how can i enjoy my wings in sub-zero temp er a ture". good shit. anyways, hence the name of this blog. those are lyrics from one of my favorite songs by bob marley, trenchtown rock. thanks for tuning in.

do it to me one more time baby

cant get enough of your love. lionel. if you enjoy any posts please follow and plus one the ones you like. also, please comment. thanks.