lighten the load

Current mood:calm

yeah, that story telling was pretty tough. i got everything i can remember out there though, so now there will be nothing to hide again, ever. well, if i dont do anything else stupid. it feels pretty good to have it be over. so the new job at st chris is pretty awesome. i do feel super useful. i get to role model for people, just seeing me there gives the new guys hope and assurance that this thing works and its not that hard. a guy i lived with graduated the program tonight and we talked about how many people had left treatment while we were there. 8 of us have graduated and 35 left treatment. one of the graduates has gone back out and the rest of us are still sober, wow. it takes allot to finish st.chris, we are a rare breed. thats crazy. well anyhow, i hope everyone who read the story was able to take something positive from it. my wife read it, and saw lots of stuff she didnt know, but like i said, everythings in the open now and i have nothing to hide. that should help the reconciliation process, i hope. if there is anything that she has hidden, i told her to chalk it up as being my fault and we move forward from here. i'd rather not know. if there is anything, i have forgiven her, i dont need to know about the details. and if theres not anything, i have forgiven her, so she can forgive herself. time to turn the page, as they say. you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around........thats what its all about. hold up, i was just joking there, but something occured to me. that kinda is what i did, a bunch of nonsense, and turned it around, thats what its about......then i thought of another childrens song, row your boat. thats kinda true too, isnt it? row gently, merrily...life is but a dream...i dont know thats probably stupid, what do i know?i do know this. the rock has that donnie darko movie coming out and i plan on seeing it, timberlakes in it too...awesome. so hey, you wanna go when you get back? yeah you, let me know. anyways, thanks for reading my crazy thoughts of this evening. i'll be here all week.